Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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