No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
