Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i think my cat just said my name.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
as a side note pls kill me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
