I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
