My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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