pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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