dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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