All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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