Kareoke will never be a sober sport
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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