She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my shit smells like andre
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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