You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just high enough for therapy.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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