i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Did I show you my penis last night?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am