Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  How did you manage that?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  lol... jersey girls rock

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): How did you manage that? (860): Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis (203): lol... jersey girls rock http://tfl.nu/qjnw
  Replies (66) Good night (1116) Bad night (2961)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked' http://tfl.nu/xvcv
  Replies (39) Good night (811) Bad night (6850)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar. http://tfl.nu/rj0l
  Replies (13) Good night (1154) Bad night (3845)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been. http://tfl.nu/1jfg
  Replies (3) Good night (1322) Bad night (1730)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am http://tfl.nu/yrwz
  Replies (8) Good night (1022) Bad night (1691)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations. http://tfl.nu/xedp
  Replies (15) Good night (2454) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time. http://tfl.nu/n1tc
  Replies (3) Good night (1659) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+64): He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?! http://tfl.nu/rdvw
  Replies (7) Good night (1053) Bad night (1562)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas? http://tfl.nu/7kpc
  Replies (6) Good night (2043) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He's only going to be gone for two weeks

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  That's two months in gay whore years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): He's only going to be gone for two weeks (1-314): That's two months in gay whore years. http://tfl.nu/9nuw
  Replies (3) Good night (1255) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment http://tfl.nu/nqpl
  Replies (1) Good night (1012) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes? http://tfl.nu/y2f0
  Replies (8) Good night (957) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with. http://tfl.nu/73vt
  Replies (2) Good night (316) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor? http://tfl.nu/6ba2
  Replies (5) Good night (500) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%. http://tfl.nu/pc4l
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (230)

Randomize