Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?

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  (417): Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional? http://tfl.nu/5yvr
  Replies (7) Good night (1781) Bad night (693)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself

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  (301): There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself http://tfl.nu/388v
  Replies (50) Good night (707) Bad night (5454)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave

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  (203): he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave http://tfl.nu/v07m
  Replies (45) Good night (5573) Bad night (813)
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  (831): View more from California

  she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.

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  (831): she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it. http://tfl.nu/5c70
  Replies (16) Good night (4660) Bad night (1161)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem

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  (804): third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem http://tfl.nu/lhco
  Replies (25) Good night (5497) Bad night (2218)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.

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  (973): her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it. http://tfl.nu/lrhx
  Replies (10) Good night (5292) Bad night (943)
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  (949): View more from California

  you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one

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  (949): you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one http://tfl.nu/7gmu
  Replies (10) Good night (6142) Bad night (1473)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.

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  (250): I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you. http://tfl.nu/i94o
  Replies (6) Good night (1846) Bad night (1248)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"

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  (541): I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice" http://tfl.nu/9e22
  Replies (10) Good night (2713) Bad night (649)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player

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  (201): Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player http://tfl.nu/qjie
  Replies (4) Good night (1049) Bad night (759)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum

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  (412): Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum http://tfl.nu/plc1
  Replies (0) Good night (562) Bad night (290)
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  (650): View more from California

  I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?

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  (650): I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex? http://tfl.nu/x3xg
  Replies (9) Good night (621) Bad night (196)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick

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  (602): Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick http://tfl.nu/v1r0
  Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (284)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am

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  (647): The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am http://tfl.nu/2wd6
  Replies (0) Good night (364) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!

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  (702): HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!! http://tfl.nu/b1io
  Replies (3) Good night (716) Bad night (240)

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