Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
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I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
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Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.