they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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