Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!

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(917): View more from New York City

Um, that's called prostitution

(773): View more from Illinois

Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money

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(515): View more from Iowa

If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".

(416): View more from Toronto

That's about an "8" on normal scales.

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(330): View more from Ohio

She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.

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(954): View more from Florida

I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG

(972): View more from Texas

BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY

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(609): View more from New Jersey

On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms

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