Texts From Last Night

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  (409): View more from Texas

  so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes

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  (409): so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes http://tfl.nu/m5en
  Replies (5) Good night (873) Bad night (958)
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  (831): View more from California

  It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.

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  (831): It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse. http://tfl.nu/4ove
  Replies (11) Good night (4694) Bad night (1174)
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  (408): View more from California

  I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.

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  (408): I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level. http://tfl.nu/k6hr
  Replies (8) Good night (3472) Bad night (665)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.

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  (330): The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life. http://tfl.nu/g5ok
  Replies (37) Good night (15609) Bad night (1412)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.

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  (404): my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles. http://tfl.nu/wcsn
  Replies (9) Good night (3548) Bad night (1114)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still

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  (434): At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still http://tfl.nu/1pcd
  Replies (9) Good night (1715) Bad night (3023)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.

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  (618): apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer. http://tfl.nu/ok9n
  Replies (16) Good night (4662) Bad night (2057)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.

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  (703): Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/f3x3
  Replies (7) Good night (4356) Bad night (1194)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.

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  (519): currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy. http://tfl.nu/g3do
  Replies (4) Good night (666) Bad night (1091)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?

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  (902): Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"? http://tfl.nu/mn11
  Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (414)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.

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  (480): Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night. http://tfl.nu/s016
  Replies (9) Good night (1526) Bad night (420)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.

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  (817): I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult. http://tfl.nu/nj2j
  Replies (4) Good night (506) Bad night (882)
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  (714): View more from California

  I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?

  (1-714): View more from California

  Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious

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  (714): I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife? (1-714): Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious http://tfl.nu/3lv6
  Replies (4) Good night (1301) Bad night (460)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night

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  (303): I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night http://tfl.nu/koj1
  Replies (5) Good night (489) Bad night (335)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  By piano you mean.....

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Like literally a piano.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.

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  (719): My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked. (505): By piano you mean..... (719): Like literally a piano. (505): Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/b7lv
  Replies (5) Good night (905) Bad night (340)

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