I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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