Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
