I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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