Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
