I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
