I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
