New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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