We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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