the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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