Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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