I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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