I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
