..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
