ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
