I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
