thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
