There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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