Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
