my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
