I wanna bring you to show and tell
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
