Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm jealous of your bromance
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
