You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
