What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
