If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Welp...herpes.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
