Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize