one two three fourrrrnication!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
