i dont even know how to be here
Dignity is for republicans.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
