I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Is Oprah even human
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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