it was like his penis was on wheels.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just pee around me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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