first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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