ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
