I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
