I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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