Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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