You can't motorboat a personality
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
