just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
