Its about making memories worth repressing
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
