By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
smell my finger.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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