sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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