Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize