He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
