Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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