he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just found puke in my bra..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize