They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
