Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
