No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
