Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
