I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
