in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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