i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
