Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
