did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
