I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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