I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
