i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.