Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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