spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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