This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
