she smelled like a LAN party
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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