Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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