Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
