I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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